I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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