farters have to be the big spoon...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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