I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize