why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm having to shit out rocks
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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