well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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