I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
