Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
