new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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