chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
