as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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