I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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