I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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