so explain again why im purple
no
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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