this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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