Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
