Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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