"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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