I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
