dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize