took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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