so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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