She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Randomize
