D3 body, D1 cock
I will die if light touches me.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
