Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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