you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
