I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
