oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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