I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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