TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Randomize
