my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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