Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
