I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
