FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
