I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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