i need an iv and a liver transplant
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
