Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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