they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
