drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
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They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
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I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
