Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
