Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
