It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize