ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
