You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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