sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize