You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
