Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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