Sacagawea was the original milf.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
