you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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