This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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