so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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