I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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