you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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