Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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