Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
