i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
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