Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
