You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
