hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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